Major bone to pick with WordPress because they offer too many template options, which means I will forever be second-guessing my choice.
Anyway, hi. Wilkommen. This is my blog. I’ve wanted a blog for a long time, and by “long time” I mean ever since I decided to quit my job two weeks ago and go back to my old job, which left me in a panic about whether I was giving up my dream that Lena Dunham is currently living (no hard feelings), namely, being a famous writer and twitterer and et cetera. “What happens to a dream deferred,” you know? That’s what I’ve been wondering every day in the shower for the past two weeks. And while driving. Also at my desk at work. Also in the bathroom at work, which is where I go when I need to take a power nap or have a brief existential crisis. And while I don’t have any answers, I do have this blog now. So my soul-searching hasn’t been entirely fruitless.
Blogging feels very weird because I haven’t done it since the days of Friendster. Yes, you read that right. I’m basically a blogging pioneer, or at least that’s what I’ve decided, in this very moment, to add to the “professional profile” section of my resume. In 2003, I devoted much of my spare time to writing very detailed reviews of The Real World: Las Vegas in one of those trendy online journals for an audience of about three people. And then to garner a larger readership, I broadened my content to include scathing political commentaries on subjects ranging from the caribou in ANWR (sensitive issue) to my personal favorite, “Resolution 1441”–a Sean Hannity buzzword at the time. Let us not mince words: I was a sixteen year old right-wing lunatic. I haven’t expended too much mental energy trying to theorize or rationalize my thinking at the time, because that’s a job best left for when it comes time to write my memoirs.
I was dedicated to that journal, and I watched it evolve right along with me: from Real World enthusiast to Republican thinktank, and then from aspiring humorist to melancholy beat poet who did not capitalize the letter i when using it as a personal pronoun or use proper punctuation at all, really, and who asked for a bunch of books about anarchists and allen ginsberg for christmas that year. And from there my journal personality was that of someone who fancied herself a future literary critic and scholar and really liked to stay at home on weekends to write papers on the “Marxist undertones” of “texts,” and then that’s where it ended because even I had to face the harsh reality that writing your thoughts on the Internet for anyone to see really wasn’t cool.
And then blogging really took off.
And then it became an actual thing.
And now everyone does it, especially writers for the Huffington Post.
So here I am.
I am twenty-six, living with my parents, about to quit a job that sucks for another that doesn’t but still won’t get me invited to the Emmys, thinking maybe I’ll go back to school, wishing I could afford any article of clothing from J.Crew, worried about what I’m buying my boyfriend for Christmas because his list includes “a first printing of Don Quixote” and “anything made from gold or crystal or uranium,” looking forward to taking my daily multivitamin for women because it is essentially a fruit snack, and blogging about it.
I have officially blogged. Now I just need a theme, gimmick, motif. Will brainstorm and get back to you.